Bush Appoints Streisand as New Weather Czar
By: Matthew Simcox
Washington D.C. -- Hoping to make a few friends on the left, President Bush has surprised many by asking Barbara Streisand, a long-time Democrat and activist, to take over a new position that he created, the Weather Czar.
"It will be the Weather Czar's obligation to see to it that weather systems are properly attributed to the culpable parties," explained Pres. Bush. "With the onset of so many terrible hurricanes in the last two years, I'm sure that there is some foul play afoot here. We need to get down to the bottom of it."
People on both sides of the political aisle believe that this gesture by President Bush will not yield the political fruits that he is hoping for. Firebrand Tom DeLay-R, Tex. tells the SatireSite that President Bush has just set his legacy back. As Streisand is so venomously opposed to anything that he does, by appointing her to some official capacity, he has given her a free, official looking podium on which to tarnish his image. "People will remember only what President Bush did with regard to the weather. His record on defense, security, economic vitality - gone. Because people only care about the weather. If the weather's bad, people will not remember the sunny days of American prowess."
Senate minority leader, Harry Reid-D, Nev., echoes Tom Delay's concerns...only with giddiness. "By naming Barbara to a position within the administration, Pres. Bush has assured the democrats a win in the southern and gulf coastal states. They will now see that the storms are, in fact, a direct result of global warming. He will fry for rejecting Kyoto."
Streisand's superior meteorological knowledge was exhibited when she made an appearance on that show that Diane Sawyer does. She correctly noted that there have been two major hurricanes within the last few weeks. Add to her brilliant mind the fact that she has a very well-known face, and she could very well be a powerful Weather Czar.
"It will by my job to correctly blame the culpable parties for devastating weather systems. Right now, Pres. Bush is to blame for Katrina, Philipe, Ophelia, Rita, Charley, George, Andrew (because Sr. Bush was in office then), and also for the desertification of sub-Saharan Africa. Just remember, with a democrat president, the weather is fair. And on a clear day, you can see forever."
The President, however, is telling the SatireSite that he has interior...uh, inferior...uh, hidden motives for naming Streisand to the post of Weather Czar. "I fully expect to get bad press out of this. But, I'm also pretty sure that Streisand will use her position to make an idiot of herself. The more exposure the democrats on the fringe get, the more the general public will see how utterly nutballish they are. I've never looked good to the press and much of the public, but the way to make yourself look good is to make your opponents look nutballish."
Asked about DeLay's-R, Tex. concerns, the President just said, "Oh, Sparky has to make those kinds of statements for this ruse to work."
Washington D.C. -- Hoping to make a few friends on the left, President Bush has surprised many by asking Barbara Streisand, a long-time Democrat and activist, to take over a new position that he created, the Weather Czar.
"It will be the Weather Czar's obligation to see to it that weather systems are properly attributed to the culpable parties," explained Pres. Bush. "With the onset of so many terrible hurricanes in the last two years, I'm sure that there is some foul play afoot here. We need to get down to the bottom of it."
People on both sides of the political aisle believe that this gesture by President Bush will not yield the political fruits that he is hoping for. Firebrand Tom DeLay-R, Tex. tells the SatireSite that President Bush has just set his legacy back. As Streisand is so venomously opposed to anything that he does, by appointing her to some official capacity, he has given her a free, official looking podium on which to tarnish his image. "People will remember only what President Bush did with regard to the weather. His record on defense, security, economic vitality - gone. Because people only care about the weather. If the weather's bad, people will not remember the sunny days of American prowess."
Senate minority leader, Harry Reid-D, Nev., echoes Tom Delay's concerns...only with giddiness. "By naming Barbara to a position within the administration, Pres. Bush has assured the democrats a win in the southern and gulf coastal states. They will now see that the storms are, in fact, a direct result of global warming. He will fry for rejecting Kyoto."
Streisand's superior meteorological knowledge was exhibited when she made an appearance on that show that Diane Sawyer does. She correctly noted that there have been two major hurricanes within the last few weeks. Add to her brilliant mind the fact that she has a very well-known face, and she could very well be a powerful Weather Czar.
"It will by my job to correctly blame the culpable parties for devastating weather systems. Right now, Pres. Bush is to blame for Katrina, Philipe, Ophelia, Rita, Charley, George, Andrew (because Sr. Bush was in office then), and also for the desertification of sub-Saharan Africa. Just remember, with a democrat president, the weather is fair. And on a clear day, you can see forever."
The President, however, is telling the SatireSite that he has interior...uh, inferior...uh, hidden motives for naming Streisand to the post of Weather Czar. "I fully expect to get bad press out of this. But, I'm also pretty sure that Streisand will use her position to make an idiot of herself. The more exposure the democrats on the fringe get, the more the general public will see how utterly nutballish they are. I've never looked good to the press and much of the public, but the way to make yourself look good is to make your opponents look nutballish."
Asked about DeLay's-R, Tex. concerns, the President just said, "Oh, Sparky has to make those kinds of statements for this ruse to work."
posted by Matthew Simcox | 9:07 AM
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