NASA Mission 2050: New New Orleans
By: Matthew Simcox
Houston, TX -- NASA has unveiled a new vision for the next half-century. Ready to act on Pres. Bush's pledges to explore and colonize Mars, NASA has decided that the name of the first colony shall be New New Orleans.
"Mars is a great place to start a new civilization. In memorium of the U.S.'s most devastating natural disaster, there is nothing more fitting than to name the first colony after one of our greatest cities that was hit so hard by Hurricane Katrina," said NASA Administrator, Michael Griffin.
NASA's future has been put in jeopardy of late, with the loss of Shuttle Columbia and the pins-and-needles return to flight this past July with Shuttle Discovery. Many in Washington question the utility of this multi-billion dollar agency.
"We think that the Mars project is crucial as we've already pretty much used up all of our natural resources on Earth. We have to have a new planet to rape of its resources or else we'll find ourselves without heating, air-conditioning, and wood," said EPA spokesperson Jeff Mallard.
Administrator Griffin explains that New New Orleans is a most fitting name for the first colony on Mars. "First of all, Mars, like New Orleans, LA has great big canals. Now, Mars' are devoid of liquid, so there's no chance of flooding. Secondly, Mars has no government. I think some from New Orleans would feel right at home there. And thirdly, despite many rumors and speculation to the contrary, intelligent life has not been found in either locale."
Houston, TX -- NASA has unveiled a new vision for the next half-century. Ready to act on Pres. Bush's pledges to explore and colonize Mars, NASA has decided that the name of the first colony shall be New New Orleans.
"Mars is a great place to start a new civilization. In memorium of the U.S.'s most devastating natural disaster, there is nothing more fitting than to name the first colony after one of our greatest cities that was hit so hard by Hurricane Katrina," said NASA Administrator, Michael Griffin.
NASA's future has been put in jeopardy of late, with the loss of Shuttle Columbia and the pins-and-needles return to flight this past July with Shuttle Discovery. Many in Washington question the utility of this multi-billion dollar agency.
"We think that the Mars project is crucial as we've already pretty much used up all of our natural resources on Earth. We have to have a new planet to rape of its resources or else we'll find ourselves without heating, air-conditioning, and wood," said EPA spokesperson Jeff Mallard.
Administrator Griffin explains that New New Orleans is a most fitting name for the first colony on Mars. "First of all, Mars, like New Orleans, LA has great big canals. Now, Mars' are devoid of liquid, so there's no chance of flooding. Secondly, Mars has no government. I think some from New Orleans would feel right at home there. And thirdly, despite many rumors and speculation to the contrary, intelligent life has not been found in either locale."
posted by Matthew Simcox | 1:33 PM
1 Comments:
Very good one! Have you seen the e-mail with the picture of all of New Orlean's school buses under water? I'll try to forward that to you--just in case. It really is "priceless".
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