Secret Service Changes Presidential Codename
By: Matthew Simcox
Washington D.C. -- The Secret Service has changed the presidential codename from "Eagle" to "El Nino" one agency memo states. The memo leaked out during the President's walking tour of the devastated Gulf region after Hurricane Katrina.
"'El Nino' was used to identify the president because he is, in fact, responsible for the devastation of the Gulf states," reported Sen. Hilary R. Clinton. How Mrs. Clinton learned of the motivation behind the codename change is unknown, but it is believed that she has some ties with the Secret Service from her days as first lady.
"El Nino" literally means "the boy" in Spanish, but the term took on much greater meaning in the mid to late 90's when overly warm Pacific temperatures created very unusual weather patterns across the country. "El Nino" was blamed for everything from rain to drought, to acne, to causing VCR clocks to blink 12:00.
"The codename for the president has not been changed, and it's not "Eagle" either," said one secret service agent who couldn't give his name because he didn't want to let his secret out. "The presidential codename is subject to change at anytime, but we cannot divulge that information."
Asked about the memo, the agent said, "what memo?"
As the most hated man in America, President Bush secretly welcomes the new codename. "I like the name, El Nino. It's better than Georgy, the Kid, and it still instills fear in the masses. Hey, how'd you get past my S.S.?"
Washington D.C. -- The Secret Service has changed the presidential codename from "Eagle" to "El Nino" one agency memo states. The memo leaked out during the President's walking tour of the devastated Gulf region after Hurricane Katrina.
"'El Nino' was used to identify the president because he is, in fact, responsible for the devastation of the Gulf states," reported Sen. Hilary R. Clinton. How Mrs. Clinton learned of the motivation behind the codename change is unknown, but it is believed that she has some ties with the Secret Service from her days as first lady.
"El Nino" literally means "the boy" in Spanish, but the term took on much greater meaning in the mid to late 90's when overly warm Pacific temperatures created very unusual weather patterns across the country. "El Nino" was blamed for everything from rain to drought, to acne, to causing VCR clocks to blink 12:00.
"The codename for the president has not been changed, and it's not "Eagle" either," said one secret service agent who couldn't give his name because he didn't want to let his secret out. "The presidential codename is subject to change at anytime, but we cannot divulge that information."
Asked about the memo, the agent said, "what memo?"
As the most hated man in America, President Bush secretly welcomes the new codename. "I like the name, El Nino. It's better than Georgy, the Kid, and it still instills fear in the masses. Hey, how'd you get past my S.S.?"
posted by Matthew Simcox | 3:07 PM
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